Codependency Counseling
If you struggle with codependency, therapy can help.Set Healthy Boundaries
Define and communicate your limits.
Nurture Your Personal Power
Empower Yourself to Thrive
Foster Balanced Relationships
Cultivate True Connection
Do you feel exhausted in your relationships?
Do you have a hard time saying no?
Are you very attuned to other people’s feelings?
Do you feel responsible for other people’s happiness and behavior?
When asked “how are you?” do you typically answer with information about someone else?
Are you worried that if you put your own needs first it will make you selfish?
You may feel like you’ve lost yourself in your relationship or that you are the one typically being relied upon while also feeling that others are not there for you.
Maybe you ignore your own needs to accommodate others to the point where you feel resentful or confused as to what your own needs even are.
You may have a hard time tolerating your loved one’s uncomfortable feelings or behaviors and may inadvertently use strategies like people pleasing or nagging to try to help them or the situation.
You may try to anticipate how other will feel so you can plan things perfectly or not share what your thoughts or feelings are to avoid conflict. Over time you may find that this often backfires and leads to further resentment and little change for everyone involved.
If this sounds like you, then you might be struggling with codependency.
Codependency is often discussed in the context of addiction because it describes the dynamic between an addict and a loved one who tries to help them, often enabling them or building up strong resentments. But codependency can occur in any type of relationship – between friends, romantic partners, siblings, parent and child – where one person feels they are solely responsible for another person’s happiness or emotional well-being.
In general, the term is now used to describe a situation where someone has difficulty setting or maintaining healthy boundaries in relationships to such an extreme that their own needs are neglected or the lose their own sense of self.
While it’s normal and healthy to want closeness, connection, and support in our relationships, codependency distorts our need for relationships into controlling, passive aggressive, or people pleasing behaviors. Hyper-focusing on how other people are doing, feeling, or thinking can leave you feeling drained, scattered, and stressed.
The good news is that, with the help of an experienced therapist, you can learn how to set and maintain healthy boundaries and understand your own needs. This can lead to more fulfilling, satisfying, and enjoyable relationships with less stress and drama.
How Therapy for Codependnecy Can Help.
Therapy starts with a in-depth assessment of where you are now and where you’ve come from. Some of the things we’ll talk about early on are your family of origin and significant close relationships like partners, friends, and chosen family. You’ll have an opportunity to share your story, and I’ll be asking questions to get a sense of how you interact with others, what your needs are, and how you’ve coped in the past. My goal of our first few sessions is to get to know you really well. From there, we’ll start exploring some of the patterns that may be keeping you stuck in codependency. In therapy, you will learn how to set boundaries and communicate your needs in a way that is respectful and works for both people in the relationship. You’ll also learn how to identify your own needs and take care of yourself so you’re not relying on others to do it for you. This can help create a more balanced, healthier relationships with less stress and more fulfillment.
You may struggle greatly with feelings of sadness, anxiety, fear of abandonment, and self-criticism that keep you from setting boundaries or walking away from bad situations. In therapy, you’ll learn to listen to and process these feelings instead of reacting to them or avoiding them. We’ll use our understanding of your past and how it blends with your present to give you the leverage you need to shift into healthier patterns. Codependency is often passed down from generations in a family. Often, understanding where these patterns come from can help lessen their power over you.
Therapy for codependency is an opportunity to understand yourself better, set healthy boundaries, and create more balanced and fulfilling relationships.
There may be times when you very much want to focus on what someone else is doing or has done. While I always welcome you to share important events in your life to process their impact on you, this is your therapy and we’ll focus on you. Often this can feel confusing or frustrating, you may not even know how to talk about yourself or what to say; your likes, dislikes, strengths, hopes, and fears might feel overwhelming, selfish, or mysterious. This can be difficult in the beginning, but my role as your therapist is to be with you as you grow this ability and to assure that with time and practice, it becomes easier.
If you’re ready to make a change, I’m here to help.
Are you tired of feeling like you can't say no?
Therapy for codependence can provide you with the tools you need to get your relationships back on track.